Elizabeth Taylor Probably Liked It Doggy-Style

I don’t normally do this, but here’s the story on this one.  Recently I’ve been applying for jobs around New York City using craigslist.  This is a bad thing.  The rewards of this practice are possible, but you need to need to be very careful.  It’s easy to get dooped.

And I did.  After sifting through garbage all day I finally thought I found one.  Here’s what the posting said:

Awesome, I thought.  I can definitely get down with that.  I went through the application preparation process.  I even went to bed a little nervous.  The next morning,  I received this email from who we’ll call: isshesexy (i):

(i) = isshesexy.        (b) = Brett.

(i): Will you write a quick sample?  Elizabeth Taylor, her life and her love of animals! 300 words informative, entertaining focus on the animals/dogs in her life!  Once we see your style we are looking to hire soon!

(b): No problem – I’ll put something together and get it to you ASAP. – Brett

(b): [Send in “writing sample”]

(i): Brett – I think it sounds great. It would be nice if we knew who was taking care of Daisy now to cap the piece, but I think it’s still a good article on it’s own without that information. The only other thing I might have added was a personal story about her and Daisy as when you read the title it seems like the piece will be mostly about Daisy, when in fact Daisy isn’t mentioned much past the fact that she was Taylor’s current pet.  Could you do another edit?  Basically how long did this take you? Google us we are very small helping animals! We do amazing stuff and need an editorial assistant to our editor! So edit and I will forward to her!

[She signs the email with a link to the company’s website.  The following image is their homepage:]

From here, I lost interest in the entire situation.

The original title for this article was:

With Elizabeth Taylor’s Death, Daisy Becomes an Orphan

After isshesexy’s first response I changed it to:

Americans and Animals Share Grief over Elizabeth Taylor’s Death

For the final version everything remains the same as the money-maker except the title, which is now:

Elizabeth Taylor Probably Liked It Doggy Style

“In addition to the millions of people mourning the passing of Elizabeth Taylor, there is one canine who is likely just as heartbroken; Daisy, her white Maltese.  Taylor adopted Daisy in 2005 and was the last in a long line of animals that the Academy Award winner and humanitarian held close to her heart.  At one point, she even said, “I sometimes think I prefer animals to people”, which in effect summed up her love for animals and the high regard she held them in throughout her entire life.

Starting at a very young age Taylor was surrounded by animals.  Her first pet, a puppy named Monty, came into the family right around the same time the purple-eyed would-be superstar was born.  The pair essentially grew up together as Taylor blossomed into the stunning beauty the world came to know and adore.  But Monty wasn’t her only creature comrade; Taylor spent her weekends in the country on her grandparent’s farm and enjoyed the company of all the animals the barnyard and wilderness had to offer. When she turned five, Taylor’s grandfather bought her a pony named Betty and the two instantly became inseparable as a young Taylor spent hours learning to ride which eventually lead her to become an experienced bareback rider (after a few fall offs, of course).

With her predisposition to animals, it should have come as no surprise that Taylor would land breakthrough rolls starring alongside non-human actors.  Her first film, Lassie Come Home (1943), featured a beloved a collie that would soon become a household name and example for talking dogs everywhere.  Her second film, National Velvet (1944) featured a horse as her co-star and personal companion while propelling her career to the next level.  Finally, whether by fate or coincidence, in 1994 Taylor played her final Hollywood movie role in The Flintstones as Fred’s mother-in-law and grandmother of Dino, the family’s pet dinosaur.

Throughout the rest of her life, in addition to all her charity work, films, marriages and scandals, Taylor always maintained her connection to the animal kingdom.  She was the proud owner of almost every type of pet, ranging from a chipmunk named Nibbles to a lion she received as a gift (which was eventually returned because, well, it was a lion).  Still, above everything else Taylor always had a soft spot for dogs.  Most specifically, a Maltese named Sugar.  From the time Sugar was three months old and until her death in 2005, the well-known white pup was Taylor’s cohort and partner in crime.  After Sugar’s death came Daisy, a descendant of Sugar who is sadly now an orphan of the beautiful, talented, and inspiring Elizabeth Taylor.”

Brett Jones, March 2011

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