Four things started and nowhere to go.
Nothing to say.
Tonight I am trying to meditate to new music.
I have not once succeeded at meditation.
But tonight I will because tonight I set up an old fish tank
in the living room, With Bob the Fish and a few feeders I picked
up for a house warming gift to Bob. I got the tank setup and was
happy. There was a live underwater plant and everything. I sat
on the couch And watched for a while. I thought about everything
to be accomplished in the evening. None of my lofty aspirations
were successful. But when I returned home, after
walking the dog in the first snow, I washed my face,
retired to my Homer Simpson pajama pants, pissed,
and walked back to the living room to see the dog
had not moved from his potion, head slightly cocked,
staring at the fish. He was calm and without anguish,
underwater with understanding. I returned to my room,
flipped the date and turned the day on the pendulum
calendar, reorganized stones on the desk, remembered
I was going to meditate to new music, changed the song
and pulled myself into bed,
facedown in pillows,
arms at my sides, hands open,
pressed against the mattress.